How to create a surprise engagement ring

Posted by Jo Beckett on

Popping the question is hugely exciting and such a special time, but can be daunting too, especially when doing so with a surprise ring! There’s a lot to think about, so I’ve put together a whole load of tips and advice for you; from the practical considerations of knowing their ring size, to working out their perfect style. 

Jo Hayes Ward | Jewellery Designer London| Surprise engagement ring

Practical tips

First of all comes the fundamental question of whether you know their ring size. The best way to know for sure is to get the finger measured by a professional jeweller.

Jo Hayes Ward | Jewellery Designer London| Surprise engagement ring

That’s obviously not always possible if you’re planning a surprise proposal! 
There are other ways around this so fear not, I’m here to help. Is there an existing ring that fits that particular finger? If so, you could bring it to us to measure, or take it to any jeweller who will be able to measure it for you. 
It is also possible to work out the approximate size yourself: If the ring is perfectly round you can measure the internal diameter. That measurement can be used to work out its size with this wikipedia international ring size conversion chart:

Jo Hayes Ward | Jewellery Designer London| Surprise engagement ring

Another possibility is to use a ring sizer like this one and find a way of measuring the finger without causing suspicion.

Jo Hayes Ward | Jewellery Designer London| Surprise engagement ring

One of my clients (who must have nerves OF STEEL) managed to measure his partner’s finger with one of these while she was asleep. I am very impressed! 
 
Important considerations

For most people, each finger is a different size AND one hand is usually bigger than the other. If you’re right handed for example, the fingers on that hand are often bigger than the left. So it’s very important to make sure you’re measuring the correct finger and hand. 

A word of warning, if you’ve managed to work out the approximate ring size yourself (as suggested above), there is still a small risk that the ring may not be a perfect fit. Many JHW rings can be resized up or down (usually by 1 to 2 UK sizes). There are, however, rings that cannot be resized due to their intricate patterning; Parquet stacking rings for example, or rings with certain stone settings, such as some of our eternity rings. So please do need to bear this in mind when choosing a ring.


Working out their style

Once you’ve worked out their size, the next big conundrum is what kind of design to opt for. Here are some key questions to mull over, to help you narrow down the search.   

What metal?

Jo Hayes Ward | Jewellery Designer London| Surprise engagement ring

Which colour jewellery do they usually wear? This might be a simple answer, but if you’re not sure, do try and work out if they have a preference. It could be that a particular metal suits their skin tone best. 
All my jewellery is available in 18ct yellow, warm white or high palladium white, and rose gold.

Gems or no gems 

Would they like a diamond ring? Or perhaps they have a particular favourite gem that we could incorporate? Do they have a favourite colour, or preferred palette that might lend itself to certain gem choices? The options are endless, as long as the stone is hard wearing enough to withstand everyday wear.

Jo Hayes Ward | Jewellery Designer London| Surprise engagement ring

If they would like a ring with a stone or multiple stones, you could opt for a central stone, or smaller scattered diamonds or gems that provide extra sparkle. 

Jo Hayes Ward | Jewellery Designer London| Surprise engagement ring

Maybe they’re more of a texture person, in which case that could be the focus rather than a stone. 

Are we stacking?

If your partner will wear an engagement and wedding ring together, it’s a good idea to think about how that will work early on. Plus they may want to add an eternity band to this stack later down the line. Many of my rings are stackable, some interlock, others create patterned spaces between adjoining rings. It’s worth mulling this over right at the beginning of the process. 

Jo Hayes Ward | Jewellery Designer London| Surprise engagement ring

One popular idea if we are going down the stacking route, is to mix your metals, which becomes a lovely feature in itself. 

Jo Hayes Ward | Jewellery Designer London| Surprise engagement ring

Overall aesthetic

Consider your partner’s style; this ring should reflect them and their aesthetic after all. Is their wardrobe and existing jewellery bold, loud and singular, or is it delicate, understated and layered?

Jo Hayes Ward | Jewellery Designer London| Surprise engagement ring

Fans of dramatic statement jewellery may appreciate a large central stone, high profile, or wide band for example. For others, a more petite design or pared down look might work best. 

Jo Hayes Ward | Jewellery Designer London| Surprise engagement ring


Just can’t decide?

We find a lot of our clients struggle with knowing their partner’s finger size and don’t feel confident enough to measure accurately. For some, having done a lot of engagement ring research they find it hard to make the final decision on the ring. If this is you, no need to panic - there are other solutions. 

One idea is to buy an off the shelf ring you think your partner will love. If the ring does not fit we might be able to resize it, or alternatively exchange it and create a new ring together with your partner. This means they get to be involved in creating their perfect ring which is a meaningful experience in itself.

Another possibility is to create a mood board for your partner. This way when you pop the question, you can share all your ideas and research for the ring with them, from stone options to rings you have considered. This could be a PDF, a scrapbook, a poster; whatever feels right to you. Perhaps include a shortlist of your favourite engagement ring designs for your partner to consider, the idea being that you then go on to commission the perfect engagement ring together. Your partner will really appreciate the time, effort and thought you've put into this, as well as enjoying an equal role in the commissioning process.

A final lovely option that we come across is proposing with a token piece of jewellery, not a ring at all. For example, earrings or a pendant set with your partners' favourite gem.

Jo Hayes Ward | Jewellery Designer London| Surprise engagement ring

Potentially this could be given along with the idea to choose a ring together at a later stage. First and foremost this route ensures that the proposal piece will definitely fit and secondly that your partner has a special momento of the proposal to treasure and wear immediately. If you choose to, you can then create an engagement ring together and the proposal piece is a delightful bonus - which can never be a bad thing!


There is a lot to mull over, but I hope this has given you food for thought. Do get in touch if you’d like to discuss ideas for your loved one. I would love to help! 

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